How to Break Up With a Friend



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how to end a friendship 
Ask The Expert
Q:
Dear Andrea: I’ve outgrown a friend who I’ve known since high school. How do I
end the friendship without hurting her?


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A: It’s not
uncommon to outgrow friends from another chapter of our lives. The things we
value in high school may look quite different from what we value today.
It’s tough to end a relationship with someone you have a
history with. Having a ‘breakup’ conversation with your friend may make her defensive
and uncomfortable; and going MIA and avoiding her calls may be confusing and
hurtful. The reality is that no matter how you approach it, there’s a good
chance you may hurt her feelings (unless she also feels that you don’t relate
to each other anymore, which is entirely possible).

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Accept
blame.
 
If you’re going to have a talk, frame it in terms of your
needs and try not to attack her character or blame her for the reason you’re
not available to be her friend. You can say, “My schedule is so busy these
days, I don’t feel I have the time to give enough attention to this friendship.
Of course I wish you the best but need to be honest with you that I’m not
really available to spend time with you…” Or you can tell her that as hard as
it is to admit, you realize that you’re in a different phase of your life and
feel that you’ve grown apart.
Show don’t
tell.
Your other option is showing her through actions, and not
words, that you aren’t available. She may take the hint if you never initiate
plans or take a while to get back to her.
The bottom line is that a relationship must be reciprocal.
It won’t work if one person doesn’t want to be there.

 

By Andrea
Syrtash KnowMoreTV

 

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